The names in these letters have been changed for legal reasons, but provide a background into the experiences of some of our parents.
My 2 boys are now 10 and 15 yrs old. Ben was 2 when he came to live with us and Michael was just 10 weeks old.
My husband and I couldn’t have children which is why we decided to adopt, and Im so glad we did, it’s the best decision we ever made. It has been hard at times, just as it is with any children but its important to remember there is help available and your not on your own.
When my eldest, Ben came to live with us, our adoption worker visited us a few times and gave us lots of support and advice, which we really needed in those first few months. A few years later we contacted social services again for our second son and again they helped us through the process and we were delighted when Michael came to live with us, a baby brother for Ben.
For about 5 or 6 years we had no further contact from social services, its only recently I have contacted them again for some advice. Ben has accepted being adopted extremely well but Michael has found it harder to come to terms with. Little things seem to trigger it off like if he sees a baby or they are doing something at school about their family tree. So, I contacted social services to ask them for advice on how I could help him understand and come to terms with his adoption.
They were wonderful and advised me to attend a course to learn new skills on how to deal with issues. It also gave me the chance to meet other parents going through similar experiences, and taught me that its OK to ask for help, whether your children are adopted or not everyone needs some support.
We were aware when we adopted Ben and Michael that we may face some problems along the way, but your not on your own. There is support and advice throughout your child’s lifetime.
Michael and Ben have made my family complete.
I wish you all the best for the future.
My son is 18 now. Peter was seven years old when he came to live with us. The past 11 years has just flown by, he has brought us so much happiness. Don’t get me wrong at times its been hard, just as it is with all children regardless of whether they are adopted or not, but when I look at him now as a confident young man, I am so proud of him.
We had been married about two years when we first talked about adoption. We had been through the trauma of discovering we were unable to have children ourselves and now we both felt we had space in our lives for someone else. Neither of us had much experience of caring for a baby and there seemed to be so many older children waiting in care, so we were happy to be approved for a child between 5 and 10 years old.
When you first begin thinking about adoption, I know its daunting, not knowing what to expect and wondering what the process will involve. But, once you’ve made that first phone call and get some information it’s not as scary as you first thought!
During our approval we heard about a 7year old boy who had been waiting in care for 2 years. Our social worker contacted the local authority involved and a couple of months later we all got together to discuss things. We were shown a rather blurred and old photo of Peter, but we were taken by his broad smile. He was a gorgeous little boy.
A series of visits were arranged and we slowly got to know Peter. Six months after he had first been introduced to us Peter came to live with us. That first week we learnt a lot about Peter and it wasn’t easy but over time he became more relaxed and at ease in his new home. He was very loud at first, still is in fact, but he did begin to calm down and fall into a routine.
Eleven years on Peter has just started his first full time job. I won’t kid you and pretend its all been plain sailing, its not, but looking at him now as a happy, motivated and ambitious young man, I know it was all worth it.
Good Luck for the Future